Bee. Go whatsapp. Sigh. I couldn't get a card or anything. Then now only I found free WiFi. My hotel need to pay. The free WiFi I get also need to pay for the drinks. Zzzzz.

Sigh

We sent kak su home the other day. Cried like i've never did. She was a part of me. And now, all that is left is an empty wardrobe and myself to talk to at night. I miss her so bad.

Got back in SG yesterday night and tomorrow i'm flying off again. This time to bangkok. Vacations are suppose to be relaxing. I'm stressing out and have gained 2kg. Gotta get my life back on track.

;________-

Events.

Place 1

Place 2

Bye. I'm done with the life here.

FREAKING OUT.

***Before i start, please excuse the quality of the pictures. They were taken with a potato.***

The last and final lap is here.

I've done 2 papers and i'm left with the last 2.

I'm so stressed out that my period is late (always an indication that i'm stress). NOT CUS I'M PREGNANT. Also, i've gained weight.

Super depressing. I gained 2kg. Been binging like a crazy fat whore for the past few weeks. Sigh.

Gotta be right on track again. Please please please, i wanna be 40kg.

Hope BF doesn't see this. He's fucking anal about me losing weight. Always stuff food in my face.

-___________-

Talking about BF.... We tried to take a decent pic of us cus most the time our pic don't look like we're a couple. Always like bestfriends. So this time round we tried....

-__________-''

Like a retard only. Thanks.

Okay nah. My fat face in the train on Vday.

Gotta go bake my cheesecake.

Procrastinating ftw.

Oh ya. Why can't i take proper pics of my red hair?

DID YOU GUYS KNOW I DYED MY HAIR RED?? &^%$#@

Okay well now you know.

Things i've realized..

I'm going to be 20 this year and as much as i don't want to admit it, i have changed a lot. My perspective of life, the things i expect from people, the shit i began to accept-- it has manifested into this huge blob of... me.

I've became more reserved and find myself bottling emotions. I could have sworn if i have a dress for every shit that i've been bottling, i would have a walk in wardrobe bigger than paris hilton's by now.

If you've known me well enough, i'm never that person- never the one to keep shit to herself. I have no patience and empathy for anyone who pisses me off. Why should i carry the burden which you brought to life? Fuck you.

Inevitably, that has all changed now. You experience life, you grow up, you mature.

Now, all i ever do is take what people has done/say to account and keep it in that wardrobe. Not because i'm more mindful of how others feel but because i feel like i'm too old to be doing stuff like that anymore.

You can say i'm much more of a boring person now. All i do is study and earn my honest keep. Nevertheless, i'm proud that i can say; i'm financially independent. Not a lot of 20 years old of my generation can say that.

Most of my friends still asks money from their parents. How they do it unabashed, i have yet to figure. That's their prerogative anyway.

On a completely unrelated note, i've quit smoking for good. Even though the urge kicks me hard in the face sometimes, i've yet to relapse. (LOL)

Oh, forgot to mention. I'm flying to Bangkok for vacation as soon as the exams are over. The first overseas trip I've ever paid for personally. So excited!

Goodbye

I wish I could have spent more time with you.
I wish I could have given you the comfort you needed when you were worried about your health.
I wish I was strong enough to hold you while you were very sick.
I wish we had more memorable memories together.

Despite it all, I will always keep the happy memories we had close with me.

I love you grandma and I always will.
Goodbye, Nenek. :)

DAFUCK

Fucking bastard thinks he's all that just because he's the guy in the relationship. You want to threaten me, you want to fucking smash the gifts i bought for my mom?

FUCK YOU.

Which part of you have changed you fucking tell me? YOU STILL CAN'T CONTROL YOUR TEMPER AND YOU'RE STILL AS FUCKING STUPID AS BEFORE.

I told you i have no fucking phone means i have no means to fucking contact you. Which part of that don't you fucking understand bitch? Disturbing my friends during school hours and shit?

FUCK YOU.

Who the fuck do you think you are? Yeah i'm pissed, i'm raging. I'm fucking boiling right now. HOW DARE YOU SAY I RUINED OUR ANNIVERSARY. Who was the selfish one the whole fucking night? Did you even think of what i wanted or how i felt on that night?

NO.

BECAUSE ALL YOU CARED ABOUT WAS YOU.

BECAUSE YOU'RE THAT FUCKING SELFISH.

I don't even fucking know why i even bother salvaging the relationship anymore when it has turned this sour. EVERYTHING WAS GOING WELL WHEN YOU HAD TO FUCKING PUT ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING BLAME ON ME.

The fuck you blame me for when clearly i'm not at fault?

Everyone hates getting fucking blamed over shit they didn't fucking do.

SO WHAT?

WHAT NOW?

YOU'RE PISSED?

WELL SO AM I.

You want to threaten me? You want to beat me up like you did before?

COME AT ME WITH THE BEST YOU'VE GOT.

BECAUSE THAT'S ONLY GONNA PROVE ME RIGHT ALL THIS TIME.

THAT YOU HAVENT CHANGED AT ALL.

YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF VIOLENT SELFISH PRICK.